Come to The Table

Jesus replied, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." - John 6:35

Two years ago on this very day I boarded a plane in Orlando and headed home after being medically debarked from the Disney Dream. I was emotionally drained, physically exhausted, and suffering from extreme stress and anxiety. My last contract chewed me up, spit me out, and left pieces cracked and broken inside.

I lost my Spark.

Granted, I'm an actress. I can fake the spark if need be, and did a pretty good job for a while. I got a new job, moved to a new city, made new friends... I moved on.

But the Spark - that little thing that drives your ambitions, fuels your dreams, and gives you purpose - was gone. I smiled for pictures and laughed at jokes, but the humor never reached my eyes. I dove into the rut of day-to-day routine, and settled.

I settled.

Settling can be a dangerous thing.

But then, God intervened. His intervention came in the form of a co-worker's comment about the two of us being "lifers".

That word - "lifer" - felt like fire in my veins. It shocked my system. The Spark crackled, caught, and began to glow. Could I spend the rest of my life in this rut? Did I want to? What was I doing? Was this it? What about my adventures? What about my dreams? What about my life?

I went home that night and did something I hadn't done in a while. I prayed.

It was nothing fancy. I didn't use big words or flowering sentiments. I was just laying in bed, about to go to sleep, when I decided it was time to "Let Go and Let God" - a phrase I'd heard so many times it seems almost unreal. The idea of being able to "let go" of whatever issues are too much for you and "let God" handle them and guide the way. From that night on, I made it a goal to spend some time everyday talking to God and praying for guidance.

I began job searching.

Three months later, there it was. Something I'd always thought about doing, but never seemed to catch at the right time to apply. Student Life Camps.

I remember going to the camps when I was in high school and loving every minute. I was incredibly lucky to have once-in-a-lifetime speakers and worship leaders - Erwin McMannus/Charlie Hall and Louie Giglio/Chris Tomlin - but the thing I remember most was the Drama Team, All Things to All People (AT2AP). I remember watching the actors and actresses on stage and thinking, I can do that!

I also remember something Erwin McMannus said, that will God-willing never leave my mind again - "It is more important to live a life worth living than to be comfortable in your surroundings."

I was comfortable. I had an apartment, a full time job with benefits, a steady income, and almost no debt... and I was miserable.

I was miserable, because I was not following the call God placed on my life. I was hungry for adventure and challenge, thirsty for creativity and purpose.  I was being called to do more, let go of comfort, and follow. But I spent two years, shut up in my apartment, covering my ears like a spoiled child and licking the wounds of my cracked and broken spirit. I thought I could do it all on my own. I had stopped trusting God. I had stopped talking to God. I lost my Spark, because I lost sight of my faith. I allowed the hurt to overpower the Healer.

Thankfully, God is bigger. So much bigger. He sees me as I am - a stubborn, imperfect person - and loves me still.

Jesus calls us to follow Him. Are we brave enough to go?

I believe everything happens for a reason. God sent the word "lifer" to me through my co-worker. He led me to the Student Life page at the right time. He guided my application and audition process. He is guiding me still. He re-ignited my Spark. He put me back together and called me to go.

So, I took a chance. I applied for a temporary summer job as an act of faith. I chose to give up the comfort and safety of a rut-lifestyle and leap into the unknown.

I am proud to say that I will be spending this summer as an Actor for Student Life.

When this adventure is over, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I will essentially be unemployed and homeless.

But my God is bigger. He has a plan, and for the first time in years, I am not worried. I am not stressed. I am following the call. Whatever happens, God is leading the way. He's got my Spark and won't let it go.

God calls us to come to the proverbial table of Life, for He is the Bread of Life and the Living Water. Whoever comes to him will never be hungry or thirsty again.

Are you ready to sit down and eat?

I know I am.